"Dude how did you get that cut on your face?"
"Oh yeah. Alice scratched, slash slapped me in class today."
"Where you fighting?"
"No just playing around."
"Then that's not how it happened."
"What do you mean? What happened, happened. There is no changing that."
"No. This needs to change. Listen, when that hot new girl asks why there is a huge cut across your face, are you going to tell her that a six year old preschool girl did that to you when you were just playing around?"
"I would rather not lie. And it's not that bad."
"No. Shut up. It's not going down like that. Here's what really happened. you where talking a walk in the bush-"
"No I wasn't I was in class."
"Do you ever take walks?"
"Yeah sure every now and then."
"Then it's not a lie. You were taking a walk in the bush when out of no where a gorilla jumped out and started attacking you."
"That's ridiculous! Gorillas don't live in this part of Africa."
"It's escaped from the zoo."
"What zo-?"
 "Lucky for you, you are a black belt in Karate and Judo."
"I'm only a green belt and I don't know Judo."
"Shut up. It's close enough."
"It's not even-"
"So there you are, surrounded by tall grass with a five thousand pound gorilla running at you."
"They aren't that big."
"Suddenly your mad skills kick in and all fear leaves you. The gorilla roars, you roar. Kinda like this, RAAAgghhh!"
"Ew you spit on me."
"Then! In one swift move, you grab the beastly gorilla paw that is about to beat you dead, and you break his wrist. Then you round house kick him to the face, knocking him to the ground. But you know that even with the godly powers you posses, you won't be able to kill this mad, manly, misplaced animal with your bare hands and be back in time for dinner, so you take out your machete!"
"My machete? Really? Why would I be carrying that with me?"
"You don't keep it with you? Oh dude I never leave the tent without mine. You got to be careful. That's the wild out there."
"What the heck do you carry yours for?"
"Because you never know when you'll need to chop off the head of a ten thousand pound gorilla monster! Which is what you do! But it takes a fair amount of chopping and slashing because the neck is so thick and you didn't have time to sharpen the blade this morning."
"So then how did I get this cut?"
"Oh. When you were running back to the house and blade of elephant grass got a piece of you. They really are that sharp."
"I think that is the only true thing you've said."
"But she doesn't need to know that."

"Hey boys how's it going? Oh my gosh! Chris how did you get that cut on your face?"
"I was in-"
"In the bush when a gorilla attacked him. It was crazy stuff. I'll tell you the story if you would like. Chris here is still a bit in shock and can't remember all the details."
"You where with him?"
"Oh honey, I was the one who saved him."