A Summer Night

I sit alone with a cold glass coke
resting my back against a parking lot lamp post.
I’ve become accustomed to being alone.
A single ruler over my own personal Rome.
And still I smile.
I’ve learned how to still have fun without any friends.
How to make some nights never end.
All I need is a board to carry my feet,
and empty bending streets.

Then there are some nights I just want to run.
I run from bad guys with guns.
I run in a race against the clock.
I run to hide from cops.
I run to catch the love of my life.
I run because I’m trying to take flight.
I run to play a game.
Sometimes I try to out run the pain.
But tonight I run because my heart tells me to.
It’s tired of staying at a standstill,
and moving like a snail.

I know I’m made for something bigger
but where I’m standing,
it’s not anywhere near.

I know the clock is ticking
so I’m running and searching
looking for my kingdom.
Our kingdom.

The whole world is our kingdom,
and summer is our national holiday.
Our independence day.
It’s time to celebrate our royalty.
Just follow my lead
and pay no head
to the negative nay sayers
and Debbie downers.
This is our summer.
The summer for royalty.

And when the party is over
you’ll smell it in the air
for miles around.

Oh how I miss the smell of summer nights.
it’s the smell of distant camp fires,
new found lovers,
and freshly lit fire crackers.

It’s the smell of night games at the park,
sadly illegal street art,
and races in stolen shopping carts.

It’s the smell of star gazing on roof tops,
empty bottles of pop,
and someone smoking pot.

It’s the smell of distant rain,
a dog being house trained,
and pizza for kids playing a kissing game.

It’s the smell of loud rock concerts,
late night party hunters,
and future hangovers.

I need to get outside
where the night is alive.

Out to a grassy park field
where I become lost
dreaming in the sky.

I watch the stars
dance across the heavens
like ships
sailing across oceans,
filled with angels
in search of lost souls
like mine.

I’m the kind of lost soul
who goes about the day
slowly being drained
by the questions that fill my mind.
Often times I can’t sleep
and seek refuge from myself
at an all night diner.

I remember one time
being so fed up
with the lack of company in my life,
that as the hostess sat me
at my usual diner table,
she gave me a consolation smile.
Knowing it was for my lonely lifestyle,
I smiled back.
“One of these nights,”
I promised myself,
“I’ll bring her here.
The girl with the auburn hair.”

As I ate
my midnight breakfast,
I felt my mind slip away,
to a place of nonexistence.
The place of forgotten memories.

Then I decided
it was time to fix this
with,
an unconventional remedy.

From then on,
when this town kisses the moon goodnight,
I’m kissing it hello.
I’ve become a midnight warrior.
A full moon howler.
With a spray can in hand,
I hit the dark and lonely streets,

leaving my poetry,
to show others,
and prove to myself,
that I am alive.
I do exist.

-Carlin Miner

For the few who follow.

I have started another bandido blog on tumblr.
 You can find it at bandidonotes.tumblr.com.
I would be thrilled if you were kind enough to follow me there. I personally think that tumblr is far easier, and more fun to work with than blogspot.
So, my posts here will be even fewer (I also don't see how that would make a big differance.)
so you have nothing to loose. Maybe even something to gain. I've found several blogs on that site that i very much enjoy following.

Best wishes,
Bandido C.

#1 Go to France. 

For a long time now I've wanted to go to France. I can't think of a good reason why not to go.

France is a country full of history, culture, and beauty. I want to get to know it better. While I could just take some classes about France and learn a lot of really cool stuff, and save a lot of money, it wouldn't be the same. I want to know the stuff you can only know if you make the journey to see, smell, hear, touch, and feel the energies unique to France. 

It also happens that the next three items go perfectly with the first. 

#2 Learn French

I once had a friend whose mother was French. I would often go over to play hoping his mom was home just so I could hear them talk to each other in that beautiful tongue. Since then I've always wanted to learn French. 

I want to know the language that makes anyone sound more cultured and romantic. 

I would very much like my future wife to be fluent in French. 

And I would love to raise my kids speaking French.

All because of the one friend and his family.

#3 Visit the Louvre

The way I see it, how can someone go to Paris, France, and not make a point to see some of the most beautiful and priceless works of art?

I would very much like to spend day after day taking in the masterpieces at the Louvre. I would hope that seeing the final products of great painters, and learning of their stories through life, that I would gain a personal motivation and inspiration, to ...

#4 Learn to Oil Paint

This is one of those items I put on to push and test myself so that I may grow.

Up to the present date I haven't been able to paint so well. I think it's because of my knowledge on how to work the brush and paint to get the look and feel I see in my head. I choose oil painting because it is as much about the color and effects, as it is about how it is formed on the canvas. The second reason why I choose oil paint is because it seems to be the medium of choice among the old masters. 

#89 Find the best burger around Utah

Being born and raised in Utah, I like to think I know the place pretty well. While making this list, however, I came to realize that I don't know where to get the best burger. 

Hamburgers and Cheeseburgers are some of my favorite foods. I love them backyard BBQ style. I love them with exciting condiments like egg and ham. (Sammy's Awesome Aussie burger). I love them piled high. I love them just about plain. 

Knowing that I don't know which to call the best is a bit disturbing. I want to find the burger that is worth the drive, worth the money, and worth the wait... so long as it's in Utah. Not just for my personal enjoyment, but to share this wonderful knowledge with friends, family, and the world! 

How does one come to the conclusion if a burger is the best? I've put a fair amount of thought into this and I think my dad say's it best, "You'll just know once you take that fist bite." At first I didn't like this because it left too much up to opinion. I wanted something factual. Something concrete and undebatable. But over time I've come to realize that you can't do that with food because of our different food allergies and our psyche. 

Our taste-buds react differently to the same flavors, and our personal experience plus cultural history has shaped our perceptions of what is good and what is icky. That's why China likes to eat dogs, France likes to eat Snails, and the United States like to eat ... well ... American food. 

Going off opinion is also the best way to do it from an economical standpoint. There are hundreds of places to eat, and hundreds of recipes. I could potentially spend thousands of dollars before finding the one. So I'll do some research and pick out some possible candidates from word of mouth, free lunches, and food articles.  Maybe I'll get lucky and find it next weekend. Maybe it'll be an expensive, and unhealthy journey lasting well into my thirties. 

But what if I eat all the thousands of burgers in Utah and I still don't find it? Well then I'll have to sadly admit that my home state can't make a burger worth crap. After that sad, crippling, heartbreaking, and shocking realization, I'll have to revisit my favorites, and choose the one I like most.

I pray that doesn't have to happen. 

So, if you think you know where the best burger is, stop being stingy and tell me! Share the calories, grease, and love!

#8 Visit the Ancient Ruins of Greece.

For so many years now I've been learning about ancient Greece and all the legends of the Gods. I've seen Greece in countless pictures, many movies, and almost don't believe it's as beautiful as all the images make it out to be. I see picture after picture of rich, blue oceans sitting next to pale gray cliff faces and towns painted white and accented with bright vibrant colors.
I want to see this for myself. I want to stand in the places that Greek Gods have stood and have a large amount of gyros and baklava with anything else that looks tasty or weird.

# 9  Free Climb Over The Ocean 

A few years ago I was really into mountain climbing. I would often find myself looking up at the beautiful mountains at the many different cliffs, and dream about a day when I could climb up that rock face. I would spend all the time I could climbing, which in reality wasn't so much. So with a mixture of not being able to climb as much as I'd like, not a lot of people to go with, not a lot of money,  and time, my love of scrambling over rocks died away. 

One of my dreams then was to one, go free climbing and jump into a foam pit. Check. It was every bit as fun as I thought it'd be. So then I raised the bar. I wanted to go free climbing over the ocean. 
And While I'm in Greece, - a country on the Mediterranean sea and littered with cliffs- I'm sure I'll find a perfect place to go free climbing.
Free climbing, I think, is the most extreme form of mountain climbing because you go the same height as you would go with equipment but it's nothing but you, your shoes, and a bag of chalk around your waist. So when you fall, you may very well die. Or maybe you couldn't get high enough and just wished you were dead.
 Water acts as a safety net. So When I fall, I just go for a swim. Now granted there still are dangers: like the waves beating you upon the rock, the waves and current keeping me under water for too long, falling from too high and hitting the water too hard, but that's what gives it that bit of excitement and motivation not to fall. Isn't it?

Now I of course will look to do it in the safest way possible. I wouldn't want to die doing  this list item. No, that's for item number 67. 

What do I want to do before I die?

 As you know, Over the last few months I've been putting together a list of 100 things I want to do before I die. 

I first started thinking about this when I saw The Bucket List.

Then when I found a new favorite show of mine called the buried life I decided to actually make a physical list. The idea is that when the opportunity comes to knock something off my list, I jump on it like a caffeine crazed kid jumps on the last piece of candy. If the opportunity doesn't come to me, then I'll go to it. 

I realize that some of the goals I have you can't really cross off, or will be extremely hard to cross off because they are more a way of being and thinking than a thing of doing. Such as numbers 55, 56, 69, 95, and 100. These five things don't have a clear time right now where I'll be able to cross them off. 

So What are these five items on my list? Well in an effort to keep busy, and keep writing, I'll go through my list and write a short blog explaining them and sharing my plan (If I have one). Then, when I cross it off, I'll document it by taking a picture, and writing a story to document it for list number 35 and for this excuse for a blog.  

The list isn't organized in any way. Not in a matter of importance, when I want to do it, and not even when I thought of it. So, come the new year, I'll be picking one or a few items a week, and tell you about it. 

It's BANDIDO TIME!

Oh my school doesn't allow this.

There are American volunteers all around me painting Zambian children's finger and toe nails. A very Kodiak moment. I decide to get in on this. Sure I'm a guy. But a majority of the kids are boys so I say the gender roles don't matter here. 

I ask for a color and call over a child. The color is hot pink. The small child is Chanda. She decided to have her finger nails painted. So one by one, I hold her fingers on my knee and do my best while she is worried I'll get some paint on my pants.

I do my best to make them look good, and to not take so long that restless Chanda decides she wants to be done half way through. 

Finished, I look at my work, and am proud of how well I've done. So I ask, "How do you like it Chanda?"

And I get a hesitant and quiet reply, "Yes they are nice"

"What's wrong Chanda? Do you not like the color?"

"Ah no. My school, they do not allow." She says while pointing at the still wet nails.

"You mean you can't paint your finger nails?"

"Yes."

"Dude! Chanda why didn't you say something?"

I wait but get no response.

"Haha wow I don't even know the dress code at the school I teach at. No worries, I got your back if you get in trouble tomorrow."

"Dude how did you get that cut on your face?"
"Oh yeah. Alice scratched, slash slapped me in class today."
"Where you fighting?"
"No just playing around."
"Then that's not how it happened."
"What do you mean? What happened, happened. There is no changing that."
"No. This needs to change. Listen, when that hot new girl asks why there is a huge cut across your face, are you going to tell her that a six year old preschool girl did that to you when you were just playing around?"
"I would rather not lie. And it's not that bad."
"No. Shut up. It's not going down like that. Here's what really happened. you where talking a walk in the bush-"
"No I wasn't I was in class."
"Do you ever take walks?"
"Yeah sure every now and then."
"Then it's not a lie. You were taking a walk in the bush when out of no where a gorilla jumped out and started attacking you."
"That's ridiculous! Gorillas don't live in this part of Africa."
"It's escaped from the zoo."
"What zo-?"
 "Lucky for you, you are a black belt in Karate and Judo."
"I'm only a green belt and I don't know Judo."
"Shut up. It's close enough."
"It's not even-"
"So there you are, surrounded by tall grass with a five thousand pound gorilla running at you."
"They aren't that big."
"Suddenly your mad skills kick in and all fear leaves you. The gorilla roars, you roar. Kinda like this, RAAAgghhh!"
"Ew you spit on me."
"Then! In one swift move, you grab the beastly gorilla paw that is about to beat you dead, and you break his wrist. Then you round house kick him to the face, knocking him to the ground. But you know that even with the godly powers you posses, you won't be able to kill this mad, manly, misplaced animal with your bare hands and be back in time for dinner, so you take out your machete!"
"My machete? Really? Why would I be carrying that with me?"
"You don't keep it with you? Oh dude I never leave the tent without mine. You got to be careful. That's the wild out there."
"What the heck do you carry yours for?"
"Because you never know when you'll need to chop off the head of a ten thousand pound gorilla monster! Which is what you do! But it takes a fair amount of chopping and slashing because the neck is so thick and you didn't have time to sharpen the blade this morning."
"So then how did I get this cut?"
"Oh. When you were running back to the house and blade of elephant grass got a piece of you. They really are that sharp."
"I think that is the only true thing you've said."
"But she doesn't need to know that."

"Hey boys how's it going? Oh my gosh! Chris how did you get that cut on your face?"
"I was in-"
"In the bush when a gorilla attacked him. It was crazy stuff. I'll tell you the story if you would like. Chris here is still a bit in shock and can't remember all the details."
"You where with him?"
"Oh honey, I was the one who saved him."

My Battle with Wuxi Fang

Yes it has been almost forever since I last made a post. Yes I have been slacking on my writting. No I don't feel terible about it; but I do feel a touch sad. So to show you I'm still alive, here is a new short story for you.


Relieved from the strain, my body relaxes and melts onto the soft grass. With IPod in ears, feet crossed, and fingers laced across my chest, I smile as the warm sun cast a sleeping spell on me.

I’m older now. There is a beautiful woman lying next to me. Her soft, smooth body warmly fits with mine. Her smell is intoxicating, her touch is soothing. She is the source of my strength, and my kryptonite. Then darkness surrounded us and she is taken.

I’m at the bottom of a tall, steep, mountain. On top I see her tan skin, and the great demon Wuxi Fang behind her. I’ve fought him before; it should be easy to kill him again.

The rock is dark and crumbles away like dry cheese in my hands as I climb. Soon there is no base to the dark pillar of rock. The wind is slowly lifting the mountain to the sky. I see soft clouds above and I climb faster.

Finally, I come in range to attack just as we reach to bottom of the large clouds; I jump with all my remaining strength, sword drawn, flying with body in position to kill. In his maggot infested eyes, I look for his next move, but I don’t see it.

Something hits me from the side knocking me to the ground. I look for what hit me and see that it’s my friend Donkey Kong. But something is different. His eyes. They are like Wuxi Fang’s, full of red maggots. I charge at him, dodge a punch for my side, and deliver an open palm up and under his sternum making him disappear.

I see a whispy tail come for my face and cut it off clean before it can reach me. The end of the tail falls to the ground. I stand ready and alert; always keeping my eye on his kill spot and waiting for my chance.

Then I see my chance. I maneuver around and through his many tails and thrashing fists and I drive my sword into the back of his skull. Feeling the sword crunch past his skin, and glide into the soft mush that is his brain, I scream and push the blade in further. As I jump off his thrashing body I’m hit by his hidden stinger. My body twitches as the poison that will slowly turn me into one of him, fills my body. I crumple down next to the bloody and limp body of my lover.

I look behind me to see Wuxi Fang shrieking and cursing me, swearing he will come back again and then I’ll be under control. His shrieks turn to honks.

I open my eyes and have to squint to see my mom home from the store. I pause my music and hear her ask me to help with the groceries.

Um... lets do a list

-A list of whats going on-

-I have a dull thud pounding on the sides of my head

-I feel a bit queesy and all around bad

-Moving sucks. It may very well be the cause of my feeling gross and out of normal

-I need to get out SO much more. The only places I spend time at now is old home, new home, occasionally school, and the places in between

- I hate not being in school. I go crazy on three day vacations. It will be amazing if I'm not a compleat loon by the weeks end.

- I "plan" to start training so I'll have a chance at being Timpviews new keeper. This is includes a better diet and more time out side.  again I say "plan".

-I need to get a hobbie or enjoy doing the ones I have now, alone.

- I need to get more friends. Preferably ones of the male gender. Because if I've only learned one thing the last few years is that boys and girls can't stay just friends for long. Here is the cycle. 

I think you (the girl) are pretty cool or cute

We hang out in a group a few times

We are friends for a while

I start thinking your cute again

Soon we become "friends" that just so happen to kiss

We get sick of that indecisive bull crap and become Boyfriend Girlfriend and maybe go on a few dates

We break up

Best case scenario we stay good friends and its not awkward to talk about other people we like

Worst case, it ends terribly and we never talk again and I most likely have bitter feelings

  yeah that crap has to stop

- I found I just go down hill fast in everything when I'm not physically active or out side a lot. 

- I still seem to ingnore that fact. If you can't tell by my aditude, this is one of those times.

- For once in my life I'm wanting homework. Math homework even! 

- Something is very wrong here. 

Group story series: Story 4-

Story FOUR
I never expected that one day I'd open my closet and find... a mouse-spider.
The mouse-speder jumped onto my face and tore the irises out of my eyes.
I screamed and fell out of the window.
Hitting with a slpat.
"Well that was seriously gross" I said to billy.
"No its' not. Everybody does it. Just... slush!"
And then I pulled out of my dagger and stabbed the kgnome to death.
Blood was splattered everywhere.
And it smelled of old feet.
And tasted like the greatest thing ever suddenly, a comet flew at me.
But no! It turned into a dinosaur, which tore my head off.


Story FIVE
I never expected to one day open my closet to find... a small door way. It was a very small door, the size of my shoe.
 Then it bite me.
It hurt so bad, its teeth peircing my flesh, drawing blood.
And then I cried and vomitted ... At the same time.
It was SO exciting! 
Then we turned and escaped into wonderland.
But then the Queen of Hearts turned us into blood sucking stabbing maniacle ZOMBIES.
'Tis the greatest sensation!
I pitty the man wo has never experienced it.
Then litte miss muppet sat on her chair.

Story SIX 
I never expected to one day open my closet and find... a grizzle bear attacking a narwhal!...
Which was wearing a magical wizard hat...
I didn't really know what to do. It grabbed me with 
its scary looking tenticles and held me over my personal toilet.
It shoved me down the toilet, and I was flushed into the sewer.
I pulled a machine gun from my pocket, blasting the roof of the sewage pipe.
Screaming bloody murder the whole while.
So to shut her up I pulled over at a gas station and bought her a sucker.
I think she likes to suck.
But who knows? Maybe her lips were naturally shaped like that.
Or maybe the nuclear testing had done more damage than I had thought.

Group Story

Group story series: Story 1-3

I've posted storys put together by my class before.
This time it is different.
The rule was that you could only see what the person before you wrote. So as after you put down your sentence, you fold the sentence that you read and passed it on.
Sadly a lot of them came out grusome/slightly crude; but we all seem to laugh.

Story ONE
I never expected that one day I'd open my closet and find... an actual monster inside. It was nighttime and I was doing a little tidying before bed when I opened my closet to see my greatest few staring at me.
A dwarf with a beard several feet long holding a copy of the Bible.
The beard reminded me of a holy man he must have been that hairy missionary I saw on the news.
But I suppose that man wasn't holt at all, for out of my memory the holy man stepped, with horns on his head and hooves for feet.
It was Michael Jackson, resurrected from the dead!
I screemed and grabbed a bazooka, blasting the unholy being
It didn't do much, besides blasting a huge hole in its middle.
Like an uber belly button.
Since it was like an uber bely button, it flopped and jiggled like Chris Farley on speed. Eventually it died of exaution.

Story TWO
I never expected that one day I'd open my closet and find... another door. One that led to a world where life and death meant nothing to anyone.
It was a chaotic but wonderful place, a place where everyone could do as they pleased.
Clothing was optional.
And of course I was stark naked as clothes are quite limiting.
It was breathtaking when money started flowing from my butt like a broken ATM machine.
Until the quarters, and 50 cent coins started coming out.
Then I yelled and jumped for joy at the vending flow of coins.
Ca-ching! Yes! This is why I love Las Vegas!
Because of the gambling and the buffets and the shoes

Story THREE
I never expected that one day I'd open my closet and find... a bathtub full of lime juice.
The strange thin is that I don't even like Limes and there was a big bald guy there just chilling in the juice.
The bald guy started singing "Whole lot of love" by Led Zepplen, and then suddenly they were all resurected from the dead the stand in my room.
We ordered a pepporoni pizza, "dance party!!!"
Then some body chucked a grenade through the window.
It exploded and stuff, went everywhere, I ran from the room screaming.
I hid behind the couch and when it settled I started to laugh.
The cow jumped over the moon.
The landing wasn't quite so smooth... and that was the end of the cow. 
 

A time for changes

Like the leaves changing in fall, my life is too changing.

In the next month I will be changing schools, houses, habits, and I hope to change some relationships while I'm at it.

Almost all of these changes I have chosen to do. (My parents had the say on the house.) And all of these changes I am excited for. The new house is going to be great. Its got a nice deck, and a bigger kitchen.
The school is a tons bigger and is going to be completely different than what i've been at, but I just have this strong feeling that this is the school I need to be at.
The changing in habits is really just hypothetical. I would like to start exercising more, but I've said that so many times before.
And I really think I should strengthen and fix a few relationships I have now. It would also be really great I a got some friends that were guys. I haven't had a solid guy friend since like... Eighth grade. That needs to change.

I'm Writing a Novella

I'm writing a novella full of short stories that all have one mysterious character helping people through problems. Here is an almost finished chapter out of the book. It would be cool if you could give me comments or ideas. 

I will be making it into a paper back in December. So... You can buy a copy if you like. 

Jumper

         It was a Thursday afternoon when Justice found himself on the roof of his apartment building looking down to the alley below. It had been three years to the day he started suffering from depression. For two months now he had been contemplating suicide. To Justice the roof that he used to enjoy so much, and was so full of life now seemed as dead and gray as she is now. The tomatoes and flowers of the roof top garden looked withered and brown. On the sunniest of days, the say was greyest of grey. The fading retro colors of the lawn chair and umbrella no longer reminded him of his childhood but looked like something that is better off forgotten.

 

         Justice had been standing on the ledge looking down onto the filthy pavement, and about to take that life-ending jump, when a man came through the door to the roof. Justice didn’t turn to see who came, and the man didn’t yell for him to get down. He just slowly walked over to the ledge, and sat down without saying a word. Justice saw now saw him out of the corner of his eye and said with a snarl in his voice, “What are you doing up here?”

         The man calmly replied, “I live on the second floor in room number three. I have a garden up here that I came to water. What are you doing up here?” Justice didn’t answer; he kept his eyes down to the narrow path of cement that would soon be his death. “Are you going to jump?”

         “What does it matter to you?” Justice shot back with tears growing in his eyes.

         “Well I would hate to see another life thrown away.”

         “I hardly have a life left.”

         “Why do you say that?”

         Justice didn’t notice the tears rolling down his cheeks as his mind filled with flash backs of the life changing day three years ago. He wanted to answer. He wanted to share his sorrow but no words would form past the lump in his throat.

         “From what I can tell you don’t have much of a life, currently.” The man from room 203 went on, “But I do know that you have a great life ahead of you. How old are you? Twenty-six, twenty-eight? You still have a whole life to live, why throw it away now?”

Justice agreed with this stranger in his head. The lump growing in his throat was yelling at him to say something. Anything. When he still didn’t say anything the man filled the silence. “Well, I’m going to pick some strawberries, and if you want you can come down to my place and we can have some strawberries and cream, and maybe talk about what’s going on.” With that he got up and left.

 

         Justice wasn’t sure what would be best. He caused of the death of the woman he loved, but she was the one who ran into the street. It wasn’t his fault that the driver didn’t see her. He should forgive himself for that fight. She was always quick to forgive. But what did he have to live for? He lost his friends, his job, and most of the time he couldn’t find the energy to go get his food stamps. What would she have to say about killing himself? What would happen when he got to the other side if he took his own life? The thought of her waiting for him, and what she might say broke his heart.

 

He raised his head to look at the sky. The tears in his eyes blurred out the sun. He looked behind him and saw an empty rooftop. That was it. There was nothing left for him. Then he realized that means there is plenty of room to change.

 

Looking down at the ground he made up his mind. Justice closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and took a step down from the ledge. Felling the soft, gravely tar roof under his feet, the sky seemed a bit brighter.

 

         As Justice approached the third door, on the second floor, his stomach filled with butterflies. He gave a timid knock on the door and right away it opened with the man smiling at him. That was when Justice first saw that he had a very distinct, very bright gold ring in the middle of his hazel iris.

 

They sat down at a table beneath the large window looking out over the city. The kitchen reminded Justice of diners he saw in movies from the fifties.

 

         “So what pushed you to the edge of the roof?” The man was putting a spoon full of strawberries in his mouth. Justice noticed the hand holding the spoon had a tattoo of a pair of wings. The wings were done in a very simple comic book style. He liked it. The tattoo seemed to give him hope and strength to talk.

 

         “Well I guess you could say that it all started about three years ago. I was dating this girl, Chantelle. I loved her since the first day we met. She just so unlike all the other girls I know, She was confident, she wasn’t scared to speak her mind. She just blew me away. But I had this problem where I couldn’t seem to do anything right. For the last few weeks we were together, we would get in a fight every day about just stupid little things.” He looked up and saw the man looking right back into his eyes, and Feeling intimidated, looked quickly back down at his bowl and continued, “I also had this friend Chloe. Chloe was just a friend. We met a while before me and Chantelle knew each other. Well I ran into Chloe on the street just outside my apartment for the first time in a year or so. So I invited her in for a quick lunch. We had lunch, ate it, talked, and that was it.  Chantelle came home sooner than I thought she would. And I guess it looked like I may have been cheating on her, so quickly she ran out. I chased her trying to explain the situation.” Justice paused now staring blankly into space, no longer aware of where he was or who he was talking to. He was hit with the emotion he felt of that day, and how amazing it felt to finally share it.

          “We got outside, and she was about to cross the street when she turned around to say something. But just as she looked my way, she was hit. The driver spilt some hot coffee on his lap, didn’t see her…” tears came again. This time from the release of all the pain and sorrow he has felt for the last three years.

 

         Three years ago Justice’s life fell apart with another lost theirs. Now, over a bowl of fruit and cream with a stranger, he found it again. Talking about a once painful subject, has given him a new start. 

Only One Truth?

Philosophy is a great class. Full mind in-tangling questions, and heated discussions. I had to write an essay for this class one day. After reading it and working through it, I've become very pleased with what I had to say, how I said it, and just the essay in general. So I would like to share a part of it with you. (I did change it up a bit before posting.)

Suppose that you live in a society where everyone believes that the earth stands still, with the sun, the moon, and the stars revolving around it in predictable, if sometimes complex, orbits. You object, “you’re all wrong: the earth revolves around the sun.” No one agrees with you. Indeed they think that you’re insane . . .. Who’s right? Is it really possible that only you know the truth, and everyone else is wrong? 

I think to answer this question you need to also ask yourself where truth comes from. Does truth fade in and out, or is it always and forever? Truth is always and forever. While we are searching for truth, we are also looking for some sort of stability, something to stay constant, something to rely on to always explain what is going on around us. So I say yes to the original question. It is very possible that only one person can know the truth to something. When using the world and the sun, we know for a fact now that we are orbiting around the sun. We’ve done hundreds of years of experimenting and sent people to space to see. So that one person that thought everyone was wrong and that the world wasn’t the center of the universe, was right. It just took years to prove he was right. 

Absolute truth is not a fad. It does not come in and out of fashion. Luckily with the technology we have these days we can find out if that one person is right or not. 

It's Just a Short Moment.

Here is an awakening I had one late night.
(I think that the African kids get the idea across better.)

Since coming home I've been staying up late a lot. Part of all that staying up late, is going to Sonic to get some drinks, then drive around wondering what to do next.

My favorite place to drive around is my neighborhood. There are a good number of lookout points. One night a friend and I stopped at a favorite spot of ours to enjoy our drinks, the view, and the beautiful Utah summer nights.

That's when This awakening hit me. I'm Mormon so this scripture came to mind.
D&C 121:7
"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity
and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment."
Here is how that works: Lets say you have to drive from Spanish Fork to Orem for a super hot date. Not a bad drive right? Well now lets say it's a super hot summer day, your AC isn't working, and you are stuck near the back of grid locked traffic with nothing good on the radio. Now that is a crap drive. That drive takes can feel more like a lame road trip through all of the ugliest roads in America. That is a situation that would send me off the walls.
(This is the cool part)

Now when you go to that look-out point that I like so much and look at the distance between the two cities, it really doesn't seem that far at all. And with all the city lights on, It is a really stunning spot to be.

So next time your not having a good time, remember, it will pass, and when you look back on what ever trouble, it won't seem as long as it felt like it was.

So can you think of how those kids relate to this awakening?
I am Storm of Peace
and I have spoken

We are all just people

The reason for my lack of posting is that I have been in Zambia Africa for the last two months.

I go to Zambia every summer because my step-mom is the founder for the NGO, Mothers Without Borders. At MWB their main mission is to help OVC (orphaned or vulnerable children). An amazing organization. Changing lives not only in Africa but here in America as well.

While in Zambia I've had some amazing awakenings. The one I would like to share now is that we are all people.

Every volunteer group I've been with have all at one point praised the Zambians for their kindness and beautiful spirits. I found that they are only half right.

Zambians are very and beautifully spirited people; when the mazungus (white people) are around. They are like that for the same reason you don't yell at your kids when company is over. Same reason you clean up before a dinner with friends. You want to leave a good impression, and be a good representative for your house and family. Zambians do the same thing for their country because -this may sound negative- they want your help and money. And it works. They show us how kind and loving they can be and we feel more inclined to help them out of the hell hole that is their life. I'm not saying that is a bad thing, its not. That has just become a survival mechanism for most Zambians. Now how sad is that.

Zambians are not out of the ordinary kind. They have secrets like us, they have passions like us, they laugh and cry, they all want a better life for them selves, just like us. Some of them really are kind to our fellow man, just like some Americans. Some have done truly evil things in their lives, like some Americans have.

We Americans have a reputation to be loud, lazy, and rich. That's not fair to say. We are not all loud, lazy, and rich. Some are, but not all. Just like not every Zambian is kind and beautifully spirited people. How can you be beautifully spirited when you get drunk with the money that should be feeding your family. How can you be kind when you rape a little girl or boy. Both happen much too often in Zambia and other third world countries.

I don't know about you but I see that as an even bigger reason to help them. I think that when we help them with that in our minds, we are serving them with true love, not pity.

So next time you have the opportunity to serve someone either in your own community, or out in the world, remember, they are people too. They don't need your pity, they need your love.

While playing soccer today, (more like a week ago) I noticed a few planes flying by over head. That's when I remembered how much I love being on those planes landing in SLC. Not because I love flying, but because I love that feeling of coming home. Home to the mountains, green grass, blue skies, OK blue when the air isn't so bad. It's such a heart warming feeling. It brings great joy and relief to my travel achy body. Then I thought "Why does it just gave to be for Utah? Why not feel that way when I land in Zambia? I feel like Lusaka is my home at times." So far i just feel relief because the flight is over and I can stand and walk again. I really hope I get that feeling this time even if my Zambian brother Chiloba won't be there. What will I do with out him? I have no idea. Most likely read a lot, watch movies with the fam, and hopefully write every day so that when I do get to use the world wide web, I can post lots for you rare readers.

On Tuesday the twelfth of May at six in the morning I am off on a jet plane. I will be home July Fifteenth.

Wish me luck!!

No day is a given

As the bell rings the students slowly mosey out of their seats and, like a herd of cattle, make their way to their next class. This has become the life of Parker Miner. Gray, lifeless, painfully boring, and a depressing excuse for a blessed life.

For almost two months now Parker has been frustrated because of his exhaustion. He is pissed because he can’t figure out why he is so excited. The school year is just about over. Just six more weeks to go till the freedom of summer break. This would be great amazing news to other teenagers, but this only makes Parker even more frustrated. Even after nine months of school Parker feels as though he accomplished nothing, and learned nothing. He has read more books in one school year than any year before, and wrote several short stories and papers, but still feels as incomplete as a plane without wings.

It’s not just affecting his school life, but his everyday life as well. All his favorite things in life that made him happy, no longer make him happy. His favorite foods all lost their popping, tangy, spicy taste. His favorite movies no longer wow his eyes. Even his girlfriend’s kiss is loosing its tingle.

After thinking long and hard about this situation, Parker decided that he needs to get out and do something with his life. He has been just been letting life drift by untouched. He made a goal to get up and take his old, active life back. He is going to go biking in no particular direction, and make his own hiking trails. When his dear friend Katelyn died of a freak accident, at the young age of six-teen, he learned then that no day is guaranteed. Tomorrow is not a given. He wants to keep that close to his heart, and live by it everyday. To make memories and take advantage of this time in his life where ever he may be. All Parker has to do now is figure out what is holding him back from his god given life, and send it away.